Elysium
In the future... when the world is polluted and vastly overpopulated... the rich people have fled from the planet and created a new place to maintain their way of life. This magical place, which is like a big circular space station, is called... Elysium... motherfucker... But one day Matt Damon, who is a poor guy living on Earth, decides he wants to go to Elysium. I mean, why the fuck wouldn't he? The Earth is a shitty place. It's like... dog shit. No, it's shittier than dog shit. It's like... horse shit mixed with dog shit. C-can you imagine that? Like if someone stuffed a mixer first with dog shit and then horse shit on top of that... Then turn it on and leave it on for... an hour. Fuck, that's how shitty it is. Can you picture how that would be after one hour, all juicy, got the consistensy of like... water. With corns in it from grass and dogfood...
Matt Damon: "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Narrator: "Too much?" Matt: "I threw up in my coffe." Narrator: "Well, excuse me, I'm just trying to tell people how bad things have become on Earth. It makes them sympathise with you more." Matt: "OK, could you... I don't know... try to do that without mentioning dog- and horse shit smoothies?" Narrator: "How the hell is the audience gonna realize how shitty this place is without picturing runny..." Matt: "Shut. The. Fuck. BUUUUUUUÄÄÄÄÄÄHHHH!!!!!" Narrator: "AAAAAAAA!!!! In the studio?! Your coffee was right there!" Batman: "OK, talk to me." Matt: "Could you kill that fucking narrator?" Batman: "I'm no executioner. That's my one rule." Matt: "Yeah, I get it. Make an exception. Kill him. He is talking about fucking dog- and horse shit smoothies!" Batman: "What the fuck, who would drink that? OK, guy, prepare to meet your maker." Jesus: "No! Do not kill that man! It clearly says in the Bible that thou shall not kill people!" Matt: "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ludie