ludienyberg

Det är enbart jag som ska ha den här platsen

Jag kan vara kapten på den värsta seglatsen

Jag kan tämja en isbjörn med en tagg i foten

Efter debatt med Obama är han idioten

Jag ler mot alla, stora som små

Jag kan få till och med Stephen Hawking att gå

Lärde Lisbet Salander att hacka datorer

Jag kan veva igång ett flygplans motorer

Jag kan prata swahili. Jag kan döda en spindel

Med en spik och dessutom med ögonbindel

Bäst i lumpen var det flera som tyckte

Att jag är schizofren är bara ett rykte

Jag är allt som behövs på ert företag

Har ni problem så är svaret: jag

 

Ludie

 

 

A guy has been murdered and another guy arrested and now is the trial. Yeah, I'm a good writer... Whatever, let's see what happens.

 

Judge: "Mr. Clark! You are prosecuted for the murder of some random guy. How do you plea?" Mr. Clark: "Not guilty!" Judge: "Oooh, that's original. There is some DNA, fingerprints, pictures and cirkumstances that tell another story." Mr. Clark: "Well, they lie!" Judge: "You're fucking guilty!" Prosecutor: "Ehm, sorry, but it's kind of my job to say that, your Honor." Mr. Clark: "Thank you." Prosecutor: "You're fucking guilty, motherfucker!" Lawyer: "No, he's not!" Judge: "Oh, my God. Look at this, the prosecutor and the lawyer are not getting along! Fuck this, let's call in the first witness. Who's the first witness?" Juror: "Ludvig Nyberg." Judge: "Ah, fuck! Not that guy..." Juror: "What, do you know him?" Judge: "Yeah, he has this retarded blog where he writes about smurfs and Batman and shit. Well, OK, bring him in."

 

I enter. Prosecutor: "Mr. Nyberg! What did you see on this horrible evening?" Me: "Eh... A guy getting killed by another guy. That guy!" I point. Prosecutor: "I rest my case." Me: "But what if... Batman did it?! And falsely accuse that guy? Maybe he was dressed as that guy to make that guy look guilty!" Lawyer: "Wow, credibility." Prosecutor: "What the fuck are you doing!?" Me: "Accusing Batman! You know like in The dark knight. He takes the fall for Twoface's crimes. It's just like this! Mr. Clark is innocent like a Carebear! Or a smurf."

 

They threw me out.

 

Ludie