ludienyberg

Priest: "We have gathered here today to witness the wedding of Thomas Brown and Liza Red. Thomas, do you before God, take Liza as your wife to love in sickness and in health until death do you part?" Thomas: "FUCK YEAH!" Liza: "YOU CAN'T SAY FUCK IN CHURCH, YOU FUCKING FUCKHEAD!" Priest: "Quiet! I will not allow this kind of language in the holy house of God!" Liza: "He started it." Priest: "Zip it! Now you just zip it so that I can proceed with the uniting of you two. Oh, how blessfully romantic this is! Liza, will you marry Thomas?" Liza: "Hey, why did I get the short version?" Priest: "Because it's exhausting to say this shit!" Thomas: "Well, I'll be! A priest using profanity in the holy house of God! Plague on your house!" Priest: "Plague on your fucking house!" Liza: "You can't declare plague on our house! We just moved there!" Priest: "Can you just say your fucking I do so I can go home?!"

That's when God spoke. God: "What the fuck is going here in the holy house of God? Or me? Holy house of me?" Priest: "These two idiots are fucking morons!" Thomas: "Well, this guy probably molests little boys on his day off." Priest: "What the... OK, I'll give you that one, but come on God! Tell these retards to shape the fuck up in the holy house of God! You. Holy house of you." God: "Shape the fuck up, retards!" Priest: "Aha! And justice shall always prevail..." Thomas: "You're a dick." Priest: "You're a fucking dick!" God: "I agree, Thomas is quite a fucking dick." Liza: "Do I get a say in all this?" God: "Uh... No." Liza: "I think Thomas is the dick here." Thomas: "Yeah, I suppose." God: "Consensus! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, DICK!" Thomas leaves. Liza: "Ah, great. So who am I gonna marry now?" Priest: "How about God? He's single." God: "No, I'm not. I'm dating someone." Priest: "Who?" God: "Your mom." Priest: "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

Ludie