ludienyberg

Jag vaknade klockan två på natten av att telefonen ringde. Jag vägrade svara. Det fortsatte ringa i en halvtimme. Till slut fick jag nog och svarade. Jag: "MEN JA, VAD FAN VILL DU?!" Caller: "Hello. My name is Kenny Frigger. I need to see you immediately." Jag: "Uh... How about... no?" Caller: "One hour ago, CIA detected a meteor on collision course with the earth. This could mean the end of the fucking world. Do I have your attention now?" Jag: "No." Jag lade på. Han ringde igen. Jag: "I don't care about a meteor, I re-he-he-heally don't." Caller: "But you are the only man who can prevent this disaster!" Jag: "Then call a woman." Caller: "Pfft! PFFT!" Jag: "Oh, a sense some sexism here, dude!" Caller: "Fuck you!" Jag: "But why me?" Caller: "Why you should fuck yourself?" Jag: "Uh, yeah, that. AND why do you call me? What could I possibly contribute with in destroying a meteor? I mean, I'm not Bruce Willis." Caller: "We called him! He was too sleepy. The only ones left to call is you and one other guy." Jag: "Batman?" Caller: "Yes, Batman." Jag: "Then call him, he's your man." Batman: "I'm actually on the line already."

Jag: "WHAT THE F... Why didn't you say Batman was on the line?" Caller: "I didn't know he was! How the fuck did you get this number?" Jag: "That's not what's weird! What's weird is how he knew he was supposed to call you in the first place!" Batman: "Guys! Let's stop discussing what's weird and turn to the matter at hand!" Caller: "Yes! Destroy the meteor! NOW!" Batman: "Yes! Suck it, meteor-motherfucker! Meteorfucker!" Jag: "Yeah, wordplay. How could this morning suck more? I'm hanging up." Caller: "Wait! Batman cannot do this alone!" Batman: "He hung up." Caller: "Shit! Quick! Call Jimmy Neutron!" Batman: "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY??" Caller: "I think he can solve this crisis." Batman: "I don't think he can." Caller: "Well, you're a fucking asshole! Ähääääääääää!!!"

Ludie