ludienyberg

More than two thousand years ago, virgin Mary and her boyfriend Joseph rode in two the city of Betlehem on their donkey. They were looking for a room where Mary could give birth to their first child. Mary was in heavy labour and frustrated since a room was nowhere to be found. At every hotel they went to they got the same response: "No rooms available, fuck off" "Oh, Joseph, my dear" Mary cried. "Where am I supposed to give birth to our child?" Joseph, equally nervous, looked around in his search for an answer. He soon found one. "Over there, my love!" He pointed at a stable. Mary just stared. "You can't fucking be serious" she said. "Come on, Mary. The baby is coming and we have no other options! Let's sneak in there and squeeze this little fucker out of you!"

They left their donkey and approached the stable. Mary could hardly walk, the labour had been going on for seven hours already! They climbed through an open window and landed in a pile of horseshit on the other side. Mary was suddenly even more reluctant to the the whole "giving birth in a FUCKING stable"-idea. Joseph helped Mary on her feet and did a little inspection of the place. There were three horses, eight goats, a shit load of chickens and a five hundred pounds pig. "This will do!" Joseph said with a joyful grin. "The fucking baby is coming!" Mary screamed. Joseph panicked. He looked for a bed for Mary to lie down on but the only thing that possibly could resemble a bed was a fucking manger. Joseph put Mary on the manger and before she could protest the baby was born.

And when the child was born, so was Christmas.

Ludie