Mitt möte med påven

Publicerad 2013-09-23 00:08:03 i Allmänt,

Jag gick in i mitt badrum härom dagen och märkte att min badrumslampa inte fungerade. Jag: "MEN HELVETES JÄVLA ARSLE BAJS FAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!" Det knackade på dörren. Jag gick och öppnade. Det var påven. Jag stängde igen. Påven: "MEN ÖPPNA, DIN... knölsvansspermiepöl!" Jag: "Meh, fan var äckligt, nu tänker jag verkligen inte öppna!" Påven: "Om du öppnar så får du godis!" Jag: "JAAAAAAA!!!!! Vänta ett slag... Det här skulle kunna kunna vara ett av dina små buselusiga påvetrix som du har smusslat upp i dina små busilusiga påveärmar på din påveskrud! I din lilla busiga skrud. I DIN JÄVLA SKRUD!!!!!!" Påven: "TYST!!!!!!!!!!!!! Öppna, annars trycker jag upp en dopfunt i röven på dig!" Jag: "Men det låter i det närmaste omöjligt!" Påven: "En tjuga säger att det går!" Jag: "Fuck you, bajs-påve!" Påven: "Men det var just det här jag kom för att prata med dig om! Du svär för mycket! Fortsätter du så här kommer du inte i närheten av himmelens gyllene port!" Jag: "Du e ful."

Påven: "DU E FAN FUL, DITT RÖVRUNKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jag: "Meh, det var det värsta! Jag ringer polisen!" Påven: "Ja, gör det då! Tror du jag blir rädd eller?" Jag slog 112. Påven: "MEH, RING INTE!!!! LÄGG PÅ, ANNARS BAJSAR JAG PÅ DIN DÖRR!!!!" Jag: "Gör det då! Tror du jag blir rädd eller? Haha, tables turned, biatch!" Jag visste att påven aldrig skulle vara så äcklig att jag gjorde verklighet av sitt hot. Tyvärr visste jag fel. Han krämade ner hela dörren på mindre än fem sekunder. Jag: "MEH, BALLEPÅVE!!!!!!!" Påve: "DU E BALLE... eh... ballesocionom... student!" Jag ringde 112. Operatör: "Ja, det här var då larmfuckingcentralen då vettö! Vad har ni för problem?" Jag: "Kom hit och döda påven. Med tårgas. Och då menar jag inte lite utan... alltså nu snackar vi Göteborgskravallerna gånger 20, minst. Man ska kunna bygga ett jävla Taj Mahal av tårgaskristallerna som ligger kvar på golvet efteråt." Operatör: "Vi ordnar det, over and out!" Jag: "Ha! You're in for it now, fucker!" Påven: "MEH, JAG GILLAR JU INTE TÅRGAS JU!!!!!!!!!!" Jag: "NÄ, MEN DÅ SKULLE DU KANSKE INTE HA MÅLAT OM MIN DÖRR MED DIN RINGMUSKEL!!!!!!!!" Påven: "PRUTTE!!!!!!!!!!" Jag: "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

Ludie

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